But I felt so all alone.
Their silent stares told volumes.
None among them made any attempt
To come towards me not to mention
Utter a word to me.
Those who were once my bosom pals
with whom I ate, spent weekends
Went shopping, and on holidays,
Gossiped and told stories, all
Suddenly are strangers to me.
The ones who very much as looked
In my direction, gazed either with
Disdain, mockery, anger, jealousy or pity.
I could see them having fun as they
Shared jokes on various subjects,
And their cheerful laughter rang out
To send eerie chills to my bones.
Every so often filters of the untrue
tales about me and how I no longer
want to mingle bring tears to me eyes.
All I could but say is: if only they knew?
These were the very people who
Cheered me on as I worked to
Become the first lady. Why then
Have they turned against me?
Where and how did I wrong them?
What could my unpardonable sin
Be? Could I ever get them to accept
Misfit is the apt term to describe
How I feel when I am with the
New people in my life now.
I love the attention and the applause
I am given wherever I go to.
Being the number on woman
Makes me feel in control.
Nevertheless, without familiar faces
To share my stardom with, it feels
Meaningless and empty to me.
Deep within me, I know this is not
Who I am. I could not fathom how
I lost my precious friends.
This office I now hold comes with, and
Demands way too much from me.
Could this be a picture or forecast of
The rest of my life without a friend?
Why do I have to be saddled with
The hassles of finding new friends
At this stage of my life?
Everyone who comes in contact now
Could only do so after waiting for
Longer then anyone would believe;
And they always often
Tended to only want to say a hasty
Greeting before hurrying away.
Why do people find it an arduous
Task to speak with me these days?
I find myself alone most
If not all the time these days!
My only company has been
Reduced to a frightful few
Whose sole duty is to keep off
The very people whose company
I tacitly crave to, and definitely
Wish to be in.
Echos of my thoughts
Reverts all around
My palatial new home.
Not even there
Do I find comfort!
Yes, this is what I wanted:
A huge mansion with my
Prince charming to share it.
Why then don't I feel fulfilled?
Is there a way by which I could
Change the status quo????
This is it!!! I found the answer!
I know just what to do! Hurrah!!!
People don't have to be kept
Away from me. They don't have
To wait for days, weeks or months
And possibly years as has been the
Case to meet with me since I
Became the lady of the house.
I will call off my protocol
Bodyguard team. I will replace
Them with a more friendly,
Warm and outgoing fellow who
Would simply help to direct my
People to where they can meet
With me whenever they felt the
I feel so elated and happy already
From thoughts of having
People approach me freely
Once again as was in my past
Before my overrated office.
I see all the lost friends return
And many new and genuine ones
That will be found.
This, I think, is how things
Ought to be if I am to be a
Proper woman in charge
As well as being
The PASTOR’S WIFE.
© Joy Ozono